I sometimes wish I could go back in time and smack myself, sure, but only because I love the idea of time-smacking. However, I usually enjoy seeing what’s changed in my work and how. It would have been horrible to have doubted myself back when I was making that old stuff as part of what makes working fun is actually HAVING fun.
I knew plenty of people who were so worried that what they were making wasn’t good enough that they tripped themselves up or just didn’t push on through to get it done at all.
I don’t look at any of that old stuff of mine as perfect in any way but at the same time it is exactly what it was supposed to be for the person making it, a person who was a giggling idiot who didn’t know enough to give a shit whether what they were doing was perfect or not.
Computer drawing or on paper, they both have their draws for me. Drawing with pencil or pen, sitting there with a piece of paper in front of you, the feel, the smell of erasers or paints, it’s like sitting next to a warm fire versus and not just an electric space heater.
Sitting at the computer, however, I’m even more loose, more relaxed to make mistakes until something just feels alright to me, and I can have all my favorite music going, often on top of a favorite movie while friends chat with me and I am playing Hotline Miami and youtube is also going and probably I am having cybersex with someone and I can make my own brushes.
It really all depends on my mood.
I’ve been using Pentel Graphgear 1000 pencils for awhile now, and Copic Multiliner SP pens, but that doesn’t mean you should run out and get some yourself, You use whatever feels good in your hands, what feels good running along the surface of whatever paper you yourself like using.
I used to go out with this girl, right? She was a lovely thing, and she just happened to have an unusually peach-fuzzy skin texture. You know how some people, they look perfectly smooth and all, but they have this almost invisible peach fuzz that you can detect if you brush your fingers along their faces. I’m crazy sensitive to that kinda thing, so I’d always pick up on that texture, like a needle reading bumps and grooves in a record, and though it wasn’t off-putting, it was a thing that distracted me a bit to the point where I said “YOU’RE FACE IS OFF-PUTTING!” and ran. I kinda handled that whole situation badly.
But that’s how I deal with my work tools as well, some of them are fine, but for very personal reasons, they just don’t feel right in my hands, so my favorite pens might feel like someone’s weird face to you.